Brisbane has taken the title of crappiest city to host the Summer Olympics. The fact the Australian city campaigned unopposed to be home of the 2032 Olympiad shows just how unwanted the event has become. The bar hosts will need to clear for the 2036 Summer Olympics is quite low.
That means new opportunities for the world’s less desirable destinations. Atlanta 1996 always felt like a bit of an odd choice but wasn’t totally out of left field. The city had advanced infrastructure and facilities. Additionally, its main competitor, Athens, did not put in a strong bid.
On the other hand, Brisbane was the only city in the world dumb enough to want the games in 2032. And that opens the door for anyone in the future. Let’s look at five crappy cities that would be perfect hosts for the 2036 Summer Olympics.
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5 crappy cities that would be perfect hosts for the 2036 Summer Olympics
Tacoma
Just south of Seattle lies one of America’s finest major dumps…Tacoma, Washington. There would be nothing more majestic than seeing opening ceremonies emanate from the Tacoma Dome while the city’s massive contingent of meth addicts look on.
The key to this bid would be that the entire event has to be held outside of Seattle. Everything must take place in Pierce County and its never-ending sprawl of meth labs. I’m sure more than one of the gold medals handed out would end up in Tacoma’s pawn shops.
Naples
Naples is gross. It’s dirty and full of scumbags. People like to talk about the city’s history, but this place just sucks. And so do the Olympics. This is great synergy.
Buriram
What could be better than placing the 2036 Summer Olympics in the middle of nowhere. Buriram is located in central Thailand with absolutely nothing around. There is a nice-ish soccer stadium, a KFC, a racetrack and not much else in the city. But hey, if Brisbane can host, why not Buriram.
Haiti
Haiti knows a thing or two about corruption, chaos and general disorganization. It seems like a perfect fit for the International Olympic Committee which is a master of these three things. This is a natural marriage and I’m surprised it hasn’t come together sooner.
Aleppo
If the money talks, the IOC will put the games anywhere. So fuck it, why not a war torn, beaten to hell Aleppo in Syria? At this point, it just may be the only place that wants the Summer Olympics in 2036.
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