The demise of Urban Meyer is hardly surprising. He’s a massive scumbag and they always get weeded out. Unless, of course, they are pimping crappy dating products to lonely dudes. But the now former Jacksonville Jaguars coach wasn’t doing that. He was trying to win football games.
And for the first time in his career, he was unable to do so. It turns out the college football legend couldn’t recapture that magic in the NFL. His bonehead jock schtick may have played well to 18-year-old kids, but it didn’t exactly resonate with paid professionals. Go figure.
It was reports of the coach kicking Josh Lambo that sealed the demise of Urban Meyer. The kicker’s report of the incident is so incredibly on brand for the former Ohio State man that not even a vigorous denial from his agent couldn’t save him.
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Lambo said Meyer told him, “Hey Dips—, make your f—ing kicks!” and then kicked him in the leg. Lambo characterized the kick as a five out of 10 and then told the Tampa Bay Times he told Meyer: “Don’t you ever f—ing kick me again!” Lambo said Meyer told him, “I’m the head ball coach. I’ll kick you whenever the f— I want.”
Here’s the deal. Meyer clearly thinks he is being funny in this spot. It is nothing more than playful banter in his view. However, it is not funny at all. Sure, some college kid will pretend to laugh at it because you basically control his fate, but a professional isn’t going to put up with that nonsense.
And if you were to summarize Meyer’s stint in the NFL with a single word, it would be nonsense. His entire tenure with the Jaguars was total nonsense. His coaching hires, game management and even personal decisions could politely be described as baffling.
It doesn’t come as any surprise. Smoke signs were coming out of Jacksonville before a single regular season game had been played. Rubbing up on some rando woman after an away loss didn’t make things better. Nor did threatening to fire whistleblowers.
What is most annoying about all of this is Meyer’s alleged status as a good Christian man. Despite a mountain of evidence that he doesn’t know his Abraham from his asshole, people like Tim Tebow continue to champion one-time Florida Gator as a pillar of virtue. In an article on her website, Kimberly Joyner perfectly sums up how dumb this is:
Running in the same circles as Trump loyalists, the Meyers are no doubt familiar with how the cult of Christian enablers works. Despite decades of allegations of sexual assault and misconduct — and admitting to it on tape — former President Trump built a right-wing movement whose most devoted members identify as white evangelicals. Like Donald Trump, Urban Meyer coasts on the reputations of his Christian enablers. If prompted, Tim Tebow will surely come to Meyer’s defense, just as he has when others have questioned if Meyer will stay the course in Jacksonville amid a losing record and organizational turmoil.
That’s because the religious right are foremost committed to securing power and will enable anyone who gives them access to more of it.
Savoring the epic demise of Urban Meyer is something to take great joy in. He has repeatedly proven to be a deplorable human being. Unfortunately, it’s only a matter of time until the unemployed coach makes some sorry apology and Fox drags his dumb ass back to Big Noon Kickoff.
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