FIFA President Gianni Infantino claimed hosting a World Cup every two years could stop migrants from Africa from dying while seeking refuge elsewhere. That statement is beyond asinine. And there have been plenty of people who have rightly ripped him for the blatant cash grab wrapped in a humanitarian plea.
However, can we take a moment to talk about what a crappy excuse this is? Even for the greedy, corrupt, incompetent governing body of soccer, Gianni Infantino claiming a biannual World Cup would help Africa is a new low.
For starters, it makes about as much sense as the business plan created by South Park’s famed Underpants Gnomes. In case you forgot, here is their three-step system to make money.
Phase 1 – Collect underpants
Phase 2 – ?
Phase 3 – Profit
To understand this better, we need to put into context with what FIFA President Gianni Infantino said about the biannual World Cup and how it would help Africa. Here are his thoughts on the subject (via The Guardian):
This topic is not about whether we want a World Cup every two years, but about what do we want to do for the future of football.
If we think about rest of world and the vast majority of Europe, then we have to think about what football brings. Football is about opportunity, about hope, about the national teams. We cannot say to the rest of world give us your money, but watch us on TV. We need to include them.
We need to find ways to include the whole world to give hope to Africans so that they don’t need to cross the Mediterranean in order to find maybe a better life but, more probably, death in the sea.
Uhhh…what? Apparently, Infantino’s grand vision for soccer is this Underpants Gnomes’ inspired plan of:
Phase 1 – Biannual World Cup
Phase 2 – ?
Phase 3 – Africa saved
There are so many things wrong with what Infantino said that it just makes you want to scream. Firstly, if you’d like more African teams to participate in the World Cup, let more in. FIFA can literally change this anytime they want.
Secondly, more World Cup games aren’t what Africa needs. In no particular order, here are things the continent could actually use: food, water, humanitarian supplies, infrastructure support, education opportunities, fewer despot leaders, less corruption and control of its resources.
That list is just off the top of my head. There are a lot more things Africa could use before a World Cup every two years. By the way, FIFA is sitting on billions of dollars and could easily help solve any of the real problems facing the continent.
Instead of trying to pad their own pockets by launching a biannual World Cup no wants, how about they actually do something good? Sorry, I forgot that soccer refuses to apply any sort of common sense to its decision making.
Related: The new Champions League format is possibly the lamest thing ever
Gianni Infantino’s take on the World Cup and Africa channels Patrick Ewing
This Gianni Infantino dumb take on the World Cup and Africa takes me back to 1998. The NBA owners had locked out players in a labor dispute that did nothing but piss fans off. Both sides were seen as being greedy and it was a bad look all around.
As the lockout dragged into the regular season and games were being canceled, Patrick Ewing, President of the Player’s Association, dropped a nuclear bomb on the situation with this ill-advised quote:
NBA players make a lot of money. But they spend a lot of money, too.
This did the players no favor in their battle against owners with fans turning against them almost immediately. The logic behind it was strenuous at best. In reality, it just felt like someone being greedy. At least Ewing didn’t frame it as some charitable decision, however.
Both were legendarily awful quotes, but what Infantino said is total horseshit. If you want to help Africa, FIFA has more than enough money to do it without needing to organize a biannual World Cup. To try and put the blood of dead migrants on the hands of those who oppose that idea is unacceptable.
Also Dumb: The US Women’s Soccer Team is acting incredibly stupid
