That new Bob Dylan song isn’t good. Look, if you’re a fan of his and want to pretend it’s good, more power to you. But no one was asking for a 17-minute song about the JFK assassination. Listening to the song reminded me of having a conversation with a 78-year old, which is the age Dylan happens to be.
Speaking with senior citizens can be a richly rewarding experience. However, there are some topics that you can’t let seniors build up conversational momentum or else they won’t stop talking. The topics vary from person to person, but you better be paying attention because once you lose control of the car, she gone.
If you listen to the new Bob Dylan song, clearly one of his topics is the JFK assassination. Unfortunately, no one was there to take control of the wheel while he was recording this monstrosity. Instead of getting something tight and concise, you get a meandering song that lasts longer than an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
And please stop with your arguments about how this is Dylan’s style. It is the longest song he has ever released. The new Bob Dylan song is clearly a byproduct of no one stepping in and saying, “That’s interesting, hey what do you think about this new topic that has nothing to do with what you were just talking about?”
It’s cool if you like Bob Dylan. He’s made a lot of good music over the years. But listening to the new Bob Dylan song is about as disappointing as visiting Dealey Plaza, the actual site of the JFK assassination.
Is the new Bob Dylan song like a trip to Dealey Plaza?
JFK history buffs will try to convince you that a trip to Dealey Plaza is great much like how Dylan fans are trying to convince people his new song is good. Neither are anything to write home about.
See more: The failed Lincoln kidnapping attempt
The first thing you’ll notice when you arrive and take a look around Dealey Plaza is that there is nothing special about it. It’s literally just a place. Sure, something important happened here, but the only reason you know that is because several unlicensed tour guides are reminding you.
These freaking tour guides. For starters, there are signs all over Dealey Plaza telling you everything you need to know. There are also plenty of real tour guides around as well. Sorry Jim Bob, I’m not interested in paying you to read the signs and then give me a hot take on what it said.
Get this, the unqualified tour guides aren’t even the worst people loitering around Dealey Plaza at any given time. There are several tourists milling about saying things really loudly in hopes other visitors will either think they’re smart or, possibly, start some sort of debate with them. It’s all terrible.
Listening to the new Bob Dylan song and visiting Dealey Plaza elicit the same feeling of general disappointment. There is no conspiracy theory about it and no Zapruder film will change your mind. Just avoid both and save yourself some time.
