From a literal standpoint, Russell Wilson is a Captain Save a Hoe. Of course he is. Seriously, his relationship with Ciara is a textbook case. Not only is the quarterback taking care of Future’s kid, but he’s more or less been exposed trying to save the singer on numerous occasions.
Also, there ain’t no way that kid wants to hangout with Daddy Russ over his real dad. Stepparents are at best tolerated. And Wilson seems like a particularly fake and annoying person. You’re telling me Future Jr. would have a catch with stepdad over drinking dirty Sprite in Magic City with his biological father? Not a chance.
But there is much more to Russell Wilson being a Captain Save a Hoe than this. In order to understand that, we must first understand what the term means. Having grown up in Sacramento, E-40 and The Click were pervasive. So was the concept of a Captain Save a Hoe.
Over time, the phrase went from being focused on dudes unnecessarily saving women by buying them things and funding their life to more of a mindset. It covered anyone who felt compelled to save things that didn’t need saving, not because it was a good thing to do, but because it’s what gets them off.
That describes the Denver Broncos quarterback to a t. His entire career, both personally and professionally, has been about his need to save hoes. And not just Ciara. Wilson’s flirtations with baseball, his charity work, his injury recovery programs, his media appearances, it all feels so fake. It’s never about the act. It’s always about how the act makes him look and feel like a hero.
Russell Wilson being a Captain Save a Hoe is why he’s playing for Denver right now. Seattle didn’t want him to be a hero, they needed him to manage the offense. This hoe-saving complex also explains his 2021 four team trade list of the Dallas Cowboys, New Orleans Saints, Las Vegas Raiders and Chicago Bears. These are all hoe NFL franchises that he wanted to save.
When Wilson was saying, “Broncos Country, let’s ride”, it had nothing to do with pumping up the crowd or creating a sign-off or whatever lame excuse he came up with. This is him jumping in the proverbial phone booth and putting on his Captain Save a Hoe cape.
All Captain Save a Hoes get exposed in the end, and it is no different for Wilson. His teammates have called him out for his behavior, the Seattle Seahawks are doing just fine without him, and Denver is a hoe too bad to save.
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