Let’s get nuts! NFL expansion needs to happen and here’s how to make it work

Sometimes you find yourself in a situation so absurd that you have no other choice but to lean into it. As Michael Keaton’s Batman and George Costanza both said, “You wanna get nuts?! C’mon let’s get nuts!”

The NFL finds itself in a “let’s get nuts” moment. In this case, George driving his late wife’s parents to a house that doesn’t exist in the Hamptons is expansion. This is a crazy time for football. Why not embrace it and do the craziest thing possible?

Except NFL expansion isn’t crazy. In fact, it needs to happen. The league is just a jumbled mess right now. You have 32 teams in eight divisions playing 17 games with seven making the playoffs. These numbers do not compute. Speaking of numbers, the value of football franchises continues to grow.

Adding four new ones to the mix benefits everyone. Owners net a huge lump sum of cash. Players receive more jobs and more money. Fans get more games. And new markets are handed teams to call their own. C’mon Roger Goodell, let’s get nuts. NFL expansion needs to happen and here’s how to make it work.

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What does NFL expansion look like?

We already mentioned that adding four teams is ideal as this would bring the total number of active franchises to 36. That means six divisions of six based on the pre-Houston Texans layout of the NFL. We’ll get to the potential new structure in a bit, but let’s touch on some of the other logistics.

This probably leads to the regular season moving to 18 games, although they could go back to 16. That would be 10 division games and eight against other teams. The NFL can gerrymander this however it wishes. Same thing goes for the playoffs which owners will most likely expand.

The biggest benefit of this is that it makes winning the division matter. Currently, teams play six divisional contests and 11 games against whoever. That isn’t ideal. Obviously, the league would lose some high-profile matchups. But it also sheds random fixtures no one wants.

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The potential 36-team NFL

As mentioned previously, our plan calls for six divisions of six teams. We are avoiding conference swapping, but it should be on the table. This is more a jumping off point than anything else since much of this will depend on where the new franchises are placed. Before we get into the 36-team NFL, here is what guided our decisions:

1. Two expansion teams in each conference, no more than one in a division
2. Keep longstanding divisions together (The Dallas Cowboys rule)
3. Geography and historical ties primary factors to determine placements
4. Current team quality not a factor at all

Possible 36-team NFL divisions

Where to expand?

You have to put those four new teams somewhere, although the first three slots seem pretty obvious. St. Louis gets in and so does San Antonio. California should probably have another team but where is up for debate. San Diego, Oakland or Sacramento are all viable options assuming one of them is willing to build a stadium.

The fourth expansion franchise would be a total tossup. Smaller candidates with passionate fanbases like Salt Lake City, Portland, Omaha and Birmingham are a few of the contenders. If Orlando agreed to call their team the Breakers, they can be considered.

It is important to note that overseas expansion is not viable or necessary. The International Series continues to work and having a stock of more games makes it easier to play extra contests abroad.

Why NFL expansion would work

NFL expansion works first and foremost because owners receive more cold, hard cash. There are claims that expansion would mean teams get less money, but the math doesn’t really support this claim.

The Denver Broncos are up for sale with the asking price set at US$4 billion. Of course, adding four teams would diminish supply, so let’s say the NFL commands a US$3 billion expansion fee for each franchise. The league rakes in US$12 billion in entrance fees alone.

There are also up to 36 more games to sell each season (two per week) along with another possible week of the regular season and expanded playoffs. That would fetch a significant amount of money.

At the very least, owners pocket like US$500 million after it is all said and done. The additional games also offset against needing to share the TV revenue with extra teams. It is hard to see those greedy bastards turning that type of deal down.

Meanwhile, players win with 250+ new jobs and nearly US$1 billion in salaries which they may be willing to accept in exchange for playing more games. They could ask for an increase in the salary cap or a few other concessions as well.

Finally, fans win because the expansion process is fun. There is an entire generation of football followers who have never experienced the excitement it brings. Beyond that, we more games that aren’t contrived, and the league’s footprint grows.

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The downsides

Diluted play is arguably the biggest downside of NFL expansion, although it’s a pretty weak claim. For most positions, there are more than enough talented players to fill four rosters. Detroit Lions running back Craig Reynolds literally came off the street to produce.

At the moment, lots of talented guys never get a shot. Quarterback play would be a concern. However, more starter reps would help offset it. Additionally, this would force offenses to be more creative in building systems around team strengths.

The other downside would be the NFL botching this. Roger Goodell and team owners don’t exactly have a great track record in rolling out new initiatives. It is possible they jam us up with things no one wants, such as Friday Night Football, Tuesday Night games or other dumb things. They may also award new teams to a crappy place.

NFL expansion needs to happen

At the end of the day, NFL expansion needs to happen. And it shouldn’t pussyfoot around by adding one or two teams. A league with 36 teams in six divisions playing 18 games makes too much sense. C’mon, let’s get nuts!