The Illuminati email scam is hardly new. For more than a decade, some group in Africa have been recruiting members via the internet with promises of wealth and an unbreakable brotherhood. And like all emails that end up in your spam folder, it’s nonsense.
You will find plenty of great examples of people trying to string out The Illuminati email scam for as long as possible. My goal was a little different. I wanted to see how quick they would bail on attempts to recruit me. In other words, could they tell when someone was full of crap, or did their greed blind them to this? Here are the results.
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How I failed The Illuminati email scam
First email
After receiving an email in my work inbox from The Illuminati promising me extravagant wealth, being part of a great group of dudes and health insurance, I replied via our trusty The Touchback email account. It should be clear to anyone who read my message that I was not serious and was hoping to trigger their homophobia. However, they responded back almost immediately with a questionnaire.
Second email
As you can see above, my answers are a mixture of Boise State trolling, The Office quotes and general Tom Foolery. It’s obvious they didn’t read it at all and proceeded to the next step of The Illuminati email scam.
Third email
Yeah, there was no way I was doing any of that, so I sent my good friend Jay Patrick the following:
Howdy Mr. Jay Patrick,
I have completed my blood oath and sent the video to you. Let’s proceed.
Lovingly Always,
Daryl Mose
Nothing was actually sent from my end.
Fourth email
After no one from The Illuminati email scam bothered to read any of my previous messages, I was surprised they cared for and/or tracked the videos. I feigned being upset with them for losing my video file to see if we could move on to the next step.
Fifth email
Jay Patrick and friends were unmoved by this and once again stated they had not received my video. I played the “I have money and was going to give it to you” card to see if their greed would trump protocols. It did not work, and they stopped responding to me.
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I failed The Illuminati email scam
As far as scams go, the video requirement is a pretty good way of weeding out marks from time wasters. If someone is dumb enough to record themselves performing a blood oath and then immediately destroy said oath, they will undoubtedly give you cash over the internet.
However, I was a bit disappointed that I failed The Illuminati email scam so quickly. They didn’t bother to read any of my ridiculous, homoerotic emails and then ghosted me. At least scumbag pickup artist Dan Bacon had the decency to send me a fake cease and desist letter.
