How tall is Ron DeSantis? It is a fair question to ask about a person running for President of the United States. We don’t want some teeny-tiny little individual in charge. If you have ever seen pictures of Vladimir Putin being towered over by Russian grandmothers, you know just how embarrassing this can be for a world leader.
DeSantis also seems to prefer to keep this information from the public. You can find heights on Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Barack Obama and countless other Democrats. What is this guy hiding? Well, it turns out he has a Tom Cruise-like secret.
Related: According to Josh Hawley’s logic, Josh Hawley is gay
How tall is Ron DeSantis?
Ron DeSantis is a pathetic 5 feet 9 inches tall. In other words, he happens to be a short man who is really loud and abrasive to distract others from his shortcoming. Basically, the Florida governor is the political equivalent of alpha m. You know him, he’s that loser from the Bosley Hair commercial who is obsessed with making penises bigger.
Now, before you start with the whole “5 feet 9 inches is average height” argument, let’s debunk it right now. That logic is nonsense. It is what short people say to make themselves feel normal.
For example, if you had four individuals who were six feet tall and one person who was five feet, their average height would be 5 feet 8 inches. The real test is to go walk around. How many dudes are shorter than 5 feet 11 inches? They exist, but their numbers aren’t exactly plentiful.
What makes this even more laughable is that the Republican once referred to Dr. Anthony Fauci as an elf. Seriously? DeSantis is five feet nine inches tall and Fauci is five foot seven. You have absolutely no room to be calling anyone short considering you’re the same height as Woodrow Wilson’s second wife.
Read More: This is how Marjorie Taylor Greene funds her campaign
Why does it matter that Ron DeSantis is short?
Some of you may claim Ron DeSantis’ height doesn’t matter. In theory, I agree with you. How tall a person is or other physical attributes don’t actually impact their ability to govern. Unfortunately, conservatives prefer to attack people’s appearances and focus on other non sequiturs instead of talking policy. See the above example of the Florida governor trying to call out Dr. Fauci for being short. Perhaps it is because they don’t have any policies or ideas in general.
For example, DeSantis loves attacking the LBGTQ+ community for who they happen to be. So, it does matter that the person trying to take away their identity is a short, stocky loser. A man who is shorter than Nicole Kidman. Ouch.
American cannot trust this itty-bitty little fellow to govern when his only motivation in life seems to be getting revenge on people who teased him for being short. Seriously, that is what his whole anti-woke schtick is all about.
It isn’t about culture or saving America. This is solely DeSantis trying to inflict pain on others because he couldn’t ride roller coasters as a kid. Look shorty, you weren’t allowed on the Gravitron ride at carnivals growing up. Maybe you still aren’t allowed to ride today. Get over it already and stop being a douche.
In conclusion, Ron DeSantis sucks at life because he is short. And that makes him totally unfit to be president. Hell, he seemingly has no business in his current job as Florida Governor. It is only a matter of time before someone in that cesspool of a state finds out he is using lifts in his shoes and outs him for being a little Thumbelina.
Keep Reading: MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell supports Islamic terrorists (According to conservative logic)
